I’ll admit I’ve been a bit murped lately with the world. It feels like more and more everyday, I’m encountering negativity and hate. Whether in the news, amongst my coworkers, on social media, strangers on the street – it’s been everywhere and it’s starting to affect me on a personal level.
Ever since therapy, I’ve been mindfully trying to live the most positive and loving life that I can. I’ve been striving to be a person who’s known for my kindness and compassion. I know I’m not always this kind of self-less human. I have my moments of “I hate everyone” and “people suck” as much as the next person. I honestly probably say these things daily. I get angry. I get upset. But I like to think I’m a person who, at least now in my life, doesn’t immediately act in these emotions in a manner that hurts someone else.
Let me give you an example. This past weekend, I was driving to the dance studio as I do every Saturday morning. I take a series of back roads, trying to avoid traffic when I can. I take a double dip hill on my route, where the second hump is actually a left hand turn with the courtesy of a stop sign. I slowed per usual, looked left and right. No cars were coming or even around, so I turned left and made my way down the second portion of the hill. Now I’ll admit, I pulled this turn a little too sharp and ended up slightly, and I mean barely, onto the other side of the road. At that same moment, another car was speeding in the opposite direction of me up the same portion of the hill. He came out of nowhere so spontaneously, it startled me and I immediately jerked my steering wheel to get my car maybe a foot back onto my side of the road. As this was happening, the car blared its horn. Like the kind of horn blaring that happens when someone runs a red light and in turn almost crashes into someone that has the right of way kind of blare. It startled me so much I braked. Remember, not even a minute ago there was NO ONE else on the road. As I was braked, the other cars window rolled down. A man started yelling at me, “Learn how to drive you f***ing c***.” Then he sped off.
I started crying. Because that’s my immediate reaction when someone yells at me. But can we go back over that scenario for a second? I got cursed and screamed at for turning a bit sharp, going the speed limit, after stopping at a stop sign and seeing there weren’t any other cars near me. This man felt he had the right to degrade me and curse at me, after he was speeding and probably rolled through the stop sign at the bottom of the double bump of the hill. Oh yea. And he did all of this in front of his wife. Now, I don’t know about you or the men in your life, but I do know about mine. This man seemed to be roughly 5-10 years older than my own father. I am biased and do think my dad is one of the greatest men in this world, however, even without my bias, my dad would NEVER drop the C word on a woman of any age. More importantly, he wouldn’t ever dream of doing it in front of my mother.
I’ve noticed this angry driving trend especially since I’ve started working downtown. It genuinely seems like a lot of drives believe he or she is God’s gift to this planet and is a major a**hole for no reason. We are all human. We are all just trying to get by. We all make mistakes. Unfortunately, yea, sometimes humans make mistakes while driving, which could result in the injury in another person. However, most of the time, road-ragers take it out on people when the accident was avoided. Get off your stupid high wheels and chill the f*** out. No one got hurt, you’re fine, and your precious car is fine. Why is it necessary to scream and curse and degrade others when an accident didn't even occur? Oh wait. It’s not.
The same goes for literally everything and anything else in this world. I hate talking politics, so I’m not going to go super in depth here. But guess what. For some reason or another, our current president got elected. It happened. For my own personal reasons, I didn’t want him elected. But I’m finding I can’t sit here, months later still sulking and being angry. We can’t make changes or fight hate with more hate. We just can’t. We have to come together and join hands from a place of love and respect. Posting every day on Facebook about how terrible the government is and how people are stupid for letting this happen and whatever else people complain about isn’t going to do jack s***.
Let's all just take some advice from the Beatles. Love is all we need. I guess I sound like a hippie – being vegan and trying to spread the love man. But I honestly don’t care. Take a break from the Internet and trolling and other comments of hatred. Take a break from the anger. Step outside and let those emotions drive you to make some positive changes in the world. Angry about climate change? Find a group that cleans up litter or plants trees on the weekend. Fed up with women’s rights? I hope you were marching in a non-violent way or are actively trying to donate to Planned Parenthood or other women’s groups in need right now. Infuriated over travel bans and what’s happening to minorities? Call your minority friends, tell them how much you love them and support them, and ask what you’re able to do to help them make a positive change.
Hate never has never and never will be the answer. We can’t want to change the world but also treat strangers on the street (in cars or walking) like they’re human garbage or f***ing c***s. We all need to relax a little bit. We need to take a step back. We need to take a moment and remember all of our thoughts, words, and actions should be rooted out of kindness and love. Even if someone cuts you off or your co-worker is the worst. Small steps lead to the most change. Be fighter for love. Do not fight with hate. I know I am still guilty of letting negativity drive my words and thoughts at times. I’m not perfect. No one is. So lets cut each other some slack already and realize we are all just doing the best we can here.
I know this post doesn't exactly deal with mental illness, but I think this is something every single person can relate to, suffering or not. I know a lot of my issues have stemmed from the negativity and hurtful words and actions of others. So if this really is the only life we get to live, why live a life so dependent on bringing down others? Why chose hate time after time? No one is any more or less special than you. Start choosing love and I promise your world can change. I've been so much happier fueling my days with positivity and giving others the benefit of the doubt. The weight of negativity is heavier than you think. Just let it go already and float with love. That in itself is therapeutic alone.
And to the man who I accidently got too close too while driving. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for whatever hate you’re holding on to that made you act out in such anger. I’m sorry for the anxiety and stress in your life that keeps you wound so tight, ready to explode at any moment. I genuinely hope you find some peace in your life. I hope you find love – love from others and the love inside your own heart. And please know, later that same day, I had to make a quick purchase at Burlington. The cashier asked me if I wanted to make a donation to help women. So I did. I made a $20 donation in your anonymous name so that one day it will help other f***ing c***s like me.